I Had the Best Week Ever

Monday and Tuesday I finished up my finals. I ended my first semester back at school with a solid 4.0 GPA. I got a 99% on my math final, and 100% on my final composition paper. I'm so proud of myself!

Isn't it beautiful? It's BRAND NEW! 

Wednesday, I got up at 4:30am to go pick up my brand new car! It's a 2013 Dodge Dart. Health-wise, not the best day. It was a LONG day and I didn't have time to workout; plus I had to eat wherever was possible, though I tried to control my portions.

Friday, Ethan and I headed to Fargo for the big marathon weekend (I was so nervous about the races I completely forgot to go to my Jenny Craig appointment. Oops, sorry, Michelle! I'll call tomorrow and go in this coming Friday). When we arrived at the Ramada Inn, we walked in to find little gift bags on the table filled with water, Cliff bars, and Powerade along with a note that wished up luck on our races. It was a small gesture, but I really appreciated it. I just think that is really nice.

To make sure I was as prepared as possible, I actually brought my Magic Bullet and a serving of Shakeology to Fargo with me so I could eat what my body is used to eating before a run.

 Laurel and I ran together and Ethan trailed behind on his own. His time ended up being better than mine was last year, which I consider an injustice as he barely trained at all; I trained for five months! My time was about 33 minutes. I was surprised my time wasn't faster; it felt like it had gone by SO quickly! I was shocked every time I saw another mile marker and I almost never felt winded. Perhaps it was because it was so congested? Oh well. I was really proud of Ethan for running it. He claims he only did it because he had to be there anyway, but I'm still proud of him!

Look how excited I am in my poncho before the race!

I was incredibly nervous for the 10k. When I actually mapped my route (which was exactly 6.2 miles according to my Nike+) on MapMyRun.com, it came up that I was actually only running 5.58 miles. I tried to convince myself that the curvatures of some of the sidewalks made up the difference, but the more I thought about it, the more I became convinced the small differences DIDN'T equal an extra half mile. Laurel also called me on Friday afternoon to warn me it was going to rain on Saturday morning, so I should get a poncho or something so I didn't run for an hour cold and miserable.

The poncho actually ended up being an awful idea. It only drizzled and ended up not being that cold, so I was hot and uncomfortable for almost the entire time. Bonus suckage: the sleeves had elastic at the wrists; sweat and water pooled at my elbows and I had to empty my sleeves out every mile or so. It was disgusting.

I received three medals
one for the 5k, one for the 10k
and a special one for doing them both. 

But I must have done something right. I finished with a time of 1:11:21, which is only about 5 minutes longer than I was used to. It also went by a lot faster than I was expecting. I was (and still am) very proud of myself. I rocked that shit! Here's a video of me crossing the finish line; I'm on the right in the black poncho and bright pink running shoes; I throw my arms up in triumph as I cross the finish line!

http://www.mtecresults.com/runner/videoResults?rid=9535&race=1387

The cherry on top of my great week was that Mari was here when I got home. She was in town for a roller derby event. After the derby, we met Caitlin at the Toasted Frog for martinis, sweet potato fries, and cheesy fried pickles (hey, I earned it!). Although stressful, my week was action packed and wonderful. 

On a partially related side note, Ethan and I shared a Coke at the roller derby. I had about 1/3 of the can and it tasted like the nectar of the Gods!...until ten minutes later when my stomach started CHURNING. Apparently, no more drinking pop for me, like ever again. 

Today, however, my butt is parked on the couch. Tomorrow, I am really going to be getting back to working out hard. Brandon's wedding is in just two weeks and I really need to make that dress look AMAZING. I've already eaten well today. I had all-natural shredded wheat with almond milk for breakfast, and my favorite lemon pepper chicken, sweet potatoes, and broccoli for lunch. I bought fresh raspberries for a snack and tilapia for dinner. It will be a clean eating kind of day!

The next race I'm REALLY interested in doing is the Run For Your Lives zombie 5k in the twin cities July 14th. I'm hoping Laurel can run it with me! It's the Saturday Ethan and I are supposed to leave for the lake. My plan is to drive with Laurel to the cities the night before and stay with Ethan's cousin Alex (who already said it would be ok for us to stay with him), run on Saturday morning with Laurel and maybe Alex too, and then ride with Alex to the lake. The only hitch is that Laurel said July is iffy for her; she'd also have to drive back by herself. 

If she can't do the zombie run, I want to do the Run or Dye (a Color Run knockoff) in Fargo at the end of June. I'm also contemplating whether or not I should do Bismarck this year; it depends on my finances at the time and if it conflicts with the Thompson Trot, which I am doing for sure. I'm also contemplating if I should always do the 5ks, or if I should do 10ks when possible. I feel like I should do the 10ks if I'm able. 

I also haven't decided if I want to try to move up to a half marathon next year. I kind of want to and I'm pretty sure I can do it. 

SO MANY DECISIONS! Anyway, that was my crazy awesome week. I'll post again soon! :)

<3 Tiffany

Yay or Nay?

I went to Jenny Craig for my weigh in this morning. I was really nervous because I didn't know what the number would be; The Dress is fitting better every time I try it on, but I might be building up lean muscle as well...

193.6

I'm down two pounds from last week! I'm a little torn. I want to be crazy excited because HEY I LOST TWO POUNDS WHEN I HAD A BURGER ON WEDNESDAY! But the other side of me says you've seen this number before; I'll be impressed once you get past it.

Shut up, me. You're being an asshole.

Am I arguing with myself right now? Better stop that...

What now? Well, tomorrow is the bridal shower/bachelorette party for miss Erin. Plan: Shakeology for breakfast, 6 mile run, shower, lunch, bridal shower, TurboFire, shower, dinner, bachelorette party. I want to work out so I can enjoy my day without feeling guilty.

I also can't run today (and I skipped my workout last night) because I'm tight on time and my leg is bothering me. There's a tendon behind my knee that feels uncomfortable; not painful, not injured, just weird and uncomfortable.

I'm going to pick up my brand new car (eek!) on Wednesday; it's in Pine City, MN which is about five hours away. It'll take all day to drive there and back, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to run that day. I'm not sure if I can run on Thursday since I'll be running the next two days. I'll try to run that night, but I'm not sure. I WILL be bringing my Shakeology and my Magic Bullet so I can have that for breakfast before the 10k since that's what I'm used to eating before I run.

I'm so nervous and excited! Ethan signed up for the 5k in Fargo!! I'm excited for him :)

Pain and Frustration

I've been feeling a lot of dull aching pain in my knees lately and it's seriously terrifying me. I love to run and I don't want to have to quit! It's not constant; it's mostly when I run in the morning and do TurboFire at night. So that's scary, but I'm guessing I'm probably ok as long as it's not a consistent pain.

I really like TurboFire. One of the main reasons is because it gives me an actual workout schedule. Not like I don't know how to work out on my own, but I haven't really seen any results with my attempts at weight training on my own. I also have problems figuring out what to do on my off days from running, cardio-wise.

Yesterday, as it was a two a day AND a the first day of the blood sacrifice, I treated myself to a burger from the Blue Moose. NO food guilt either; I had a Shakeology for breakfast and just a salad for lunch so SUCK IT.

Ethan and I were thinking we will store our cars in the garage for the summer and take our bikes everywhere instead (exceptions would be the grocery store/other large purchases). Save on money AND burn some extra calories.

I'm really nervous for my weigh in tomorrow....WHAT WILL IT SAY?! If it doesn't register a loss, I'm going to lose my mind. Have I eaten off plan? Yes. Have I exercised my tits off (literally)? Hell yes. I'm just really worried about giving up on myself. I don't want to be 190+lbs for the rest of my life.

That's NOT good enough and I DO NOT accept it!

It's not like I'm at my ideal weight and I can't lose more because it's unhealthy. I've BEEN smaller. I have plenty of fat I can still lose. C'mon!

Yesterday Was A Bad Day

Yesterday was a bad day. I was outrageously hungry all day; I ate WAY more than I should have. MOST of it was healhty, but there were definitely things I should NOT have eaten. I took the dog for an hour long walk with the boys, but I skipped TurboFire. *le sigh* It was not a good day.

I've just been feeling way hungrier than usual lately. And SO DAMN TIRED. I've napped for at least two or three hours every day for the past few days. I think I'm about one workout away from completely burning out, getting a $20 fast food feast, and not leaving the couch for a week.

BUT, despite all of that, I went for my 6 mile run today. Let's face it-stopping won't fix anything; it'll just make things worse. However, the only positive thing I can say about this morning's run was that I did it. It was painful, slow...just awful. I pretty much hated every fucking second of it. It's the first run I've hated since I was able to move outside. My time was bad, my legs hurt, my knees hurt....ugh. BUT I DID IT. And that really does count for something considering I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning.

Then I went to shower and realized it is the time for the blood sacrifice. That explains pretty mch everything; the lethargy, the uncontrollable appetite. It would even explain a higher number last week, because I tend weigh up to five pounds heavier the week before.

I'm just discouraged, but I feel encouraged by my dedication to practicing for the 10k, no matter how much I didn't want to or how badly it went. I still did it. You can always get back on track. Every day is a new day.

I don't want to give up. I want to go home tonight and give TurboFire 110%. I can do this.

Today, I Am Happy

It's not a phrase I can say very often. Usually, I'm unhappy for one reason or another; the house is a mess, I have homework, I haven't worked out, I ate something I shouldn't have, etc.

I ate a good breakfast, went for a fantastic run, went to class, had a good lunch. I feel oddly pretty today, with surprisingly no makeup on; my MOM even told me I look good today, and she, although mostly supportive, has always been my harshest critic. If SHE says I look like I've lost weight, she means it. So it's been a good day.

It is an unbelievably beautiful day today; it's sunny, clear skies, temperatures in the high 60s....absolutely beautiful. 10:30am was the PERFECT time to go for a run, because it wasn't too hot yet. Due to the beautiful sunlight, I now have a tan!....and a very oddly shaped tan line from where my iPod was strapped to my arm. It's so weird looking, I might post a picture.

My only obstacle I still face is going out to eat. My mom usually has lunch with my brother everyday, but he's out of town this week so she's been calling me. I am always tempted to have a burger or something equally naughty. But we went to Applebee's today and I got the Napa Chicken; it's grilled chicken with mushrooms, zuchinni, onions, and red potatoes in a wine sauce with Parmesan cheese for only 450 calories. I, however, skip the cheese and sauce. I also substitute fresh steamed broccoli instead of the potatoes. I don't EXACTLY know how many calories it ended up being, but plain grilled chicken with grilled and steamed veggies-no sauce or oil-is pretty damn close to clean and healthy.

I took another set of pictures last night of me in "the dress." I THOUGHT it looked different, but I couldn't tell for sure and I don't trust Ethan to be 100% with me on issues of my body/weight. I emailed the pictures to Laurel and Erin and asked if they saw a difference; I also didn't tell them which ones were which. Saying out loud (or typing it, I suppose) it sounds really immature and childish. But I needed to hear it. In the end, I'm glad I woke up to an email answer from Laurel.

If my clothes are fitting better and people are noticing the physical change in me, then I couldn't care less what the scale says. I'm going to continue taking a picture of me in that dress every Sunday night. I'm hoping to make inappropriately loud squealing noises by the end of this. I don't want to jinx it, but I think I might actually be able to wear this dress to Brandon and Greta's wedding! *le gasp!*

The Weigh In I've Been Dreading

So I finally sucked it up and went to my Jenny Craig appointment yesterday...195.6; up two pounds. Could've been better, could have been worse. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that number. I was expecting it to be worse, but I was hoping I would be surprised with a better number. I'm going to use it as a starting point and move on.

Let's look at some positive points:

-I went shopping with Ethan the other day. Couldn't find any clothes that fit right, which was obviously disappointing. HOWEVER, my boobies have apparently shrunk. When I started this back in 2012, they were DD's. My new bras are C's. Really? Of EVERYWHERE I could have lost weight from, it came from my boobies?! Sadface. BUT IT'S WEIGHT LOSS.

-I went for a run again on Thursday. Turns out that first time WASN'T a fluke; I did the whole thing again. It felt so good! I'm totally ready for Fargo!

-Three months without a weigh in, and I only gained two pounds? I can at least maintain like a motherfucker.

I guess it's also possible that I gained muscle. I know that when you're sore, you retain water; your muscles fill with blood to repair themselves. I have been sore for a full week so I'm going to have Michelle take measurements next week to see.

I'm trying to stay positive :)

I can't lie and say I'm fine, because I am really quite upset. I've been working to hard to eat right and work out, I really thought I was going to have an astounding number....but I don't actually know where I was at after my little sabbatical. I suppose I could ask at BioLife since they take my weight? I just have to try to move on.

I have a new favorite meal: chicken with broccoli and sweet potatoes. I love the savory chicken with the sweet, well, sweet potatoes. I cut the chicken into strips and marinate it in a sandwich bag with 1 tsp EVOO and a few shakes of lemon pepper. Put it in a pan, cook, flip, cook, and serve. For the sweet potatoes, I cut them into strips and "fry" them on my griddle (in Pam cooking spray). For the broccoli, it's just a bag of Steamfresh that I nuke in the microwave for five minutes. Simple and delicious. Honestly, cutting up the sweet potatoes is the only even remotely time consuming part.

330 calories

Must. Not. Give. Up!

Rude Comments

My posts are sometimes inspired from my favorite bloggers' posts. Today, this topic comes from Miss Cassey Ho at Blogilates.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, should EVER make you feel badly about your weight or how you look. Cassey has been getting some rude comments about gaining weight. You can read all about that here.

It just reminded me of the nasty things people have said to me over the years. Most of them being when I was VERY young, from my dad and his family.

When I was eight years old, we had a 4th of July BBQ at my grandparents' house. It was in the high 90s that day, my grandma had been using the stove, and my grandparents' didn't like to use their air conditioning. I commented on how hot I felt, to which my dad replied in front of my ENTIRE family "Maybe if you lost some weight, you wouldn't feel so hot." I WAS FUCKING EIGHT YEARS OLD. You don't say that to an eight year old!!

When I was eleven, my dad's second cousin came to visit. The first thing out of his mouth instead of hello, was "Darling, you need to lose some weight." Thank you, uncle I've only met once before in my entire life.

Another time when I was thirteen, my dad came to ask me if I'd been on the treadmill in front of my friends, including the boy I had a crush on at the time.

It's been a problem my entire life, my dad and his family making rude comments about my weight. Just a few years ago, I attended my cousin's wedding. They made sure to say very rude things about my weight behind my back, but loudly enough for my mom to hear.

What the fuck is wrong with people? Do you really think I don't know I'm overweight? Do you think I like it? I will never forget those nasty comments, especially the ones from when I was really young. My mom has commented on my weight, but she is usually trying to help. When I first did Jenny Craig, she was the one who'd suggested it and paid for it.

Don't get me wrong; I also remember EVERY compliment I've ever gotten on my weight loss, too. But we all know hurtful comments are more memorable. It just makes me angry. Especially the comments being thrown at Cassey. Even if she has gained a bit of weight, she's still in phenomenal shape; I'd kill to look like her. It upsets me any time someone makes rude comments about another person's weight. Even when I watch Dance Moms and they say rude things to Abby about her weight. FUCK. YOU. That's a low you just don't go to.

A girl I work with also works at Cold Stone. She once posted a status: 

If bartender's aren't allowed to serve people who are clearly intoxicated, why do I have to serve people who are clearly obese? #coldstoneproblems

That's fucking RUDE. Especially since she is like a 00, never had to diet or exercise in her life. I defriended her and I have been less friendly than normal to her at work because it seriously offended me.

I think this is the angriest post I've ever made, but it needs to be said. You have no right making rude comments about ANYONE else's appearance. Everyone has insecurities; how would you feel if I commented about your teeth being crooked, your hair being frizzy, your skin being uneven? You'd feel awful about yourself, so why would you do it to someone else?

And you. You are beautiful exactly as you are. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different. If you want to change your appearance, do it for YOU, and not anyone else. If you want to get fit for you, awesome. If you're happy the way you are, then I'm happy for you. Don't ever let anyone make you feel badly about yourself.

Be positive. Make the world a better place. Be KIND.